"Even the wise man acts
in accordance with his inner nature.
All beings, follow their nature.
What good can repression do?

Craving and aversion arise
when the senses encounter send-objects.
Do not fall prey to these two
brigands blocking your path.

It is better to do your own duty
badly, than to perfectly do
another's; you are safe from harm
when you do what you should be doing. "

- Bhagavad Gita
[3.32 - 35]


sitting here on the rv floor, the only sounds are the inconsistent hums of the fan motor in the skylight. i suppose the motor cannot withstand the persuasion of the wind out here. there's not too much out here that CAN stand up against where the wind wants you to blow. sure, there are walls around gardens, brigades in front of windows, scarves around long hair...but all of that is just another layer between "it" and the wind. thinking on this, i wonder if the wind would still have influence? would the wind be ingnored? or is the barrier a constant reminder that the wind is still out there?

this verse from Bhagavad Gita was a random page that i opened up to, and as always, it was appropriate for the moment. i find myself being introduced to many, countless, distractions that are temptatious. a temptation does not have to be an evil thing. sometimes they are, and they're disguised as being a positive addition to your person. but really, mostly, they are things that are alluring, which has the power to derail, good or bad. my temptations are great endeavors that i will persue. only now is not the time. now i have an destination that has a clear path. the little alley ways and sidewalks that wonder around, those will have to wait or move their entrances to another spot on down my path....the Mome Raths just came to mind...
you know this scene in (Disney's) Alice in Wonderland where the hairy-topped walking mushrooms form an arrow and show her the path....


so the last line of this verse,
"you are safe from harm
when you do what you should be doing",
weighs heavily for me right now. what i should be doing is only surrounding myself with positive energy. what i should be doing involves steadfast focus and dedication to maintain that element of peace within. this means cleaning out the house.
this verse can be taken in different ways, but that's the beauty of the Gita.
apply it.

alice has been coming up a lot lately. i have a collection of alice in wonderland books, all by different illustrators. one of my favorites is Arthur Rackham, one of the world's most famous illustrators of the Golden Age, 1870 - 1930.






his series of prints is what inspired me, in conjunction with the photorapher Abelardo Morell, to do my own series of alice photographs which became a project that spanded over the course of 5 years of my life. in a way my ideas seemed to be a bit cliche with all the hysteria surrounding the story of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland. but unless you really do a deep down research of everything that it means, and discard the images that Disney has created for you, read up on Lewis Carroll and discover that his real name is Charles Dodgson and that Alice was a real life person, it will be nothing but just another fairy tail.


my version, pinhole cyanotype print
pool of tears




my version, pinhole cyanotype print
drink me



my version, pinhole cyanotype print
whom did you expect?

my first blog post. i decided to give it another go. i tried a photo blog over a year ago, but i found it limiting since it was so topic specific...even though i'll mostly be posting photos anyway. i always wanted to keep up with a blog. for reasons even i don't understand, mainly because technology is NOT my cup of tea. even cell phones, and how they're attached to people's hips and ears, disturb me. but blogging allows me a certain distance that i need in order to feel secure in the public eye. a type of anonymity. i relish the loner style. (read the book Loner's Manifesto: Party of One for a clear depiction of those who prefer solitude over the multitudes). even though, funny as it is, i know most of my readers will be friends and family. but whatever. i wanted to spout and spew the things that consume me, what i find amusing, or that which is attractively crass, crude and lewd. it is highly possible that music will find it's way onto my soap box. maybe i'll reveal those mutations in nature that are so stuntingly beautiful and original to me. or maybe one day i'll want to pick apart an akward gesture some lady in the thrift store did the other day when she picked up a pillow that had fallen off the top shelf. on some days i may just want to document those daydreams that keep me moving forward, or perhaps a daydream that turned awry and found reality. in life i'm more observant than talkative, but here it may be hard for me to shut up.