i like lists. i like to make lists and then stick them on top of other lists, wedge them in the pages of my calendar book, on the bathroom mirror, on the screen of my phone...you name it, there's a list or quote-note for me everywhere i go. this list is about being. my ambitions are high, but not impossible. some of the items can be checked off upon completion, other's are lifelong relationships. the list will probably grow as my desire to learn more and see more and do more and be more continues. to start from here:
1. “Roots” @ CSHS
2. Float down the Russian river to the
Pacific ocean
3. Kayak the sea of cortez
4. Live in Central/South America...costa rica? peru?
5. Jump the cave of swallows
6. Sky dive in Nevada
7. Study yoga and Ayurveda in India
8. yoga teacher certification
9. cross country bike ride with Aster
10.Finish tattoo sleeve
11.Be a successful herbalist with
Apothecary, work at home
12. practice accordion
13. do a workshop @ Penland
14. Learn to blow glass
15. Learn to sail, get my captain’s
license, island hop from Florida
Keys to Venezuela...or forget the license and just buy a boat!
16. Hike El Camino de Santioga
17. Read ALL the books I own
18. visit ALL National Parks in US
19. buy some land, live off the land,
build my dream quaint abode
20. wonder many foreign countries
21. Get a Sovereign Passport
22. EAT WELL = nothing refined,
always real
23. learn mushrooms
24. walk somewhere every day
7.26.2011
7.12.2011
grounding down with buffalo gourd
lately i've felt all over the place. no wonder with all this moving about! i thought moving 6 times in a small town of 500 was ridiculous, but since being in bisbee for about 4 months i've shuffled around 5 times already, with more to come. i've never minded the nomadic lifestyle, although the difference between that and what i'm doing currently is that the "wagon" i'm towing all my belongings in isn't quite big enough for all my belongings, plus me and dog...or maybe i just have too many things ? no, i'm pretty sure Gloria Datsun is just not a live-in-wagon. and it would be different if the wondering took me outside of the same town! ugh, how completely ridiculous! but right now i'm know i'm supposed to be here.
i don't want to dwell on the frustrations of not feeling settled because it is not worth the time being frustrated when i could be productive. what it has done though, is forced me to seek some grounding in my life. i've reflected on my consistent feelings of restlessness, and what it boils down to is a HUGE fear of being stuck in one place, the ever looming dark cloud that hovers and refuses to produce refreshing rain, relief...it harbors my fears of .never leaving to travel...running out of time to do so...and being forced to live in one place when there is a great big wide world to explore!! so in my reflections i've come to accept that having a home base dose not mean being stuck. it means living healthily in an environment filled with comfort and stability and love. which in fact would actually allow me to travel...lightly :)
lightly in so many ways. one, i would not be running from something and towards nothing. two, i would not be running from nothing and towards nothing. and three, in the more literally sense, i would only travel with those things i would need, even if the duration of those travels were indefinite. although coming back to my comfy cozy made-by-me home (that will happen !!) would probably call my name pretty loudly after some time of being away.
it's not just the hopping from house sit, to hostel, to couch surf that has driven me towards some grounding. it was my recent experience with the buffalo gourd.
one thing i enjoy most about apprenticing with mimi is the time we spend sitting with plants. it is a way, probably the most important way, of getting to know a plant rather than reading about it's properties in a text book, or being told from another person what this plant does. to be able to feel a plants energy, and to be able to open up to it's abilities is an amazing and sense altering experience. i do believe that at one time humans were more connected to the earth, and that we did cohabitate in a state of mutual harmony, exchanging energies as we respected each other as living beings while utilizing each other's gifts.
it is with humbled gratitude that i acknowledge my awareness, sensitivities and connectedness to other living beings.
we went down to the san pedro river with no particular agenda, except to find certain plants, one being the buffalo gourd. a few steps from where we parked were several. at this time it still had not rained yet...although now we've had several glorious and tendering showers...so it was dreadfully dry and somewhat oppressing. before continuing down towards the river we deciding to sit a while with these gourds. as i sat, legs crossed, upright back, chest opened to the sky ready to receive acceptance, the wind begin to blow slightly. at first i noticed my thoughts starting to wonder off to whatever could possibly be distracting me. and in the forefront of my mind i could almost here this voice saying "come back to me...i am right here in front of you...you came to me, so stay for a while". it was more like a tug on my sleeve than a voice, ever so subtle, but definitely noticeable. as my attention was drawn back to the plant, i sat and felt a gentle yet strong sensation of growing roots in the sand...sprawling and steady...not giving way to the sway of the breeze. i felt more focused, my nerves were slowed, my attention attentive. this energy was the grounding essence of the buffalo gourd. apparently there are not medicinal uses for the buffalo gourd, at least according to books. there are some studies being done on it being a possible food source and/or other uses. it is so prominent in this area, a hardy and productive plant even under harsh conditions, that some believe it must hold some nutritive qualities.
just to further define how incredible this plant is, even during drought the buffalo gourd grows and roots and blooms healthy yellow flowers and fruits. when does it get water from if it's not raining ?!?!
it's root system is tubular, also giving affect to it's centered grounding. the leaves are very thick and coarse, almost unbendable or tearable.
both male and female are on the same plant:
i don't want to dwell on the frustrations of not feeling settled because it is not worth the time being frustrated when i could be productive. what it has done though, is forced me to seek some grounding in my life. i've reflected on my consistent feelings of restlessness, and what it boils down to is a HUGE fear of being stuck in one place, the ever looming dark cloud that hovers and refuses to produce refreshing rain, relief...it harbors my fears of .never leaving to travel...running out of time to do so...and being forced to live in one place when there is a great big wide world to explore!! so in my reflections i've come to accept that having a home base dose not mean being stuck. it means living healthily in an environment filled with comfort and stability and love. which in fact would actually allow me to travel...lightly :)
lightly in so many ways. one, i would not be running from something and towards nothing. two, i would not be running from nothing and towards nothing. and three, in the more literally sense, i would only travel with those things i would need, even if the duration of those travels were indefinite. although coming back to my comfy cozy made-by-me home (that will happen !!) would probably call my name pretty loudly after some time of being away.
it's not just the hopping from house sit, to hostel, to couch surf that has driven me towards some grounding. it was my recent experience with the buffalo gourd.
one thing i enjoy most about apprenticing with mimi is the time we spend sitting with plants. it is a way, probably the most important way, of getting to know a plant rather than reading about it's properties in a text book, or being told from another person what this plant does. to be able to feel a plants energy, and to be able to open up to it's abilities is an amazing and sense altering experience. i do believe that at one time humans were more connected to the earth, and that we did cohabitate in a state of mutual harmony, exchanging energies as we respected each other as living beings while utilizing each other's gifts.
it is with humbled gratitude that i acknowledge my awareness, sensitivities and connectedness to other living beings.
we went down to the san pedro river with no particular agenda, except to find certain plants, one being the buffalo gourd. a few steps from where we parked were several. at this time it still had not rained yet...although now we've had several glorious and tendering showers...so it was dreadfully dry and somewhat oppressing. before continuing down towards the river we deciding to sit a while with these gourds. as i sat, legs crossed, upright back, chest opened to the sky ready to receive acceptance, the wind begin to blow slightly. at first i noticed my thoughts starting to wonder off to whatever could possibly be distracting me. and in the forefront of my mind i could almost here this voice saying "come back to me...i am right here in front of you...you came to me, so stay for a while". it was more like a tug on my sleeve than a voice, ever so subtle, but definitely noticeable. as my attention was drawn back to the plant, i sat and felt a gentle yet strong sensation of growing roots in the sand...sprawling and steady...not giving way to the sway of the breeze. i felt more focused, my nerves were slowed, my attention attentive. this energy was the grounding essence of the buffalo gourd. apparently there are not medicinal uses for the buffalo gourd, at least according to books. there are some studies being done on it being a possible food source and/or other uses. it is so prominent in this area, a hardy and productive plant even under harsh conditions, that some believe it must hold some nutritive qualities.
just to further define how incredible this plant is, even during drought the buffalo gourd grows and roots and blooms healthy yellow flowers and fruits. when does it get water from if it's not raining ?!?!
it's root system is tubular, also giving affect to it's centered grounding. the leaves are very thick and coarse, almost unbendable or tearable.
both male and female are on the same plant:
female
male
gourd
leaves and sprawling ground cover
7.09.2011
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