un-titled

Rose is a rrose is a rrose is a rrose.
Gertrude Stein addressed the significance of naming in her 1913 poem, Sacred Emily, which explores the laws of identity

Later, Photographer Claude Cahun appropriated Stein's quote and transformed it to read "Rrose is a rrose is a rrose is a rrose" which took on the issue of gender identity.

and even earlier than both Stein and Cahun, Shakespeare asks through the words of juliet  "What's in a name? that which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet;"

is does not matter the name of things, but what things ARE that makes the identity solid.

would the words on this template have any more meaning if written in any other form, say pen and ink, or graphite and postcard.

what does it mean to not know what i want, but to know what i don't want.
when i feel like i want something, say in a person, is it really what i want? or just something that i at least know does not fit into the "not want" category...to "name" what kind of person i want.

it's easy to distinguish what i don't want, especially when it is something i'm faced with everyday. does that go to say that the opposite of what i don't want is what i do want? how cruel to have been blessed with this troubled right brain. and how misleading to think that humans can make demands on people and their characteristics based on what I/you Want in a person. to ask of such things is to ask for perfection. and even in the most perfect of communions there is imperfection. the magic lies within the nature of bonding, as two minds function as one, reading, smelling, sensing, co-habitation, KNOWING how the mental mechanics of that person function. to simply ACCEPT a person is also to say that "regardless of all your flaws and imperfections i still think you're wonderful". i'd say it's more accurate to use such a phrase for someone who is an acquaintance, a stranger even. and as for two people who don't make it as a partnership, is it so incorrect to say, instead, that two people just don't have that kind of link that bonds them past all those "flaws and imperfecttions", and that there are in fact NO flaws and NO imperfections, but rather just some characteristics that don't compliment, or that don't create that link. characteristics that may even provoke a negative reaction, like adding water to acid, ingredients from two personalities that can make for a volatile existence.

people artificially bind themselves to partners every day because they meet someone who is "good for them", who is "a good man/woman" and who "loves them". is that all we as humans seek in this life when we're the only beings who can feel past instincts? what are we doing settling, rationalizing why we should be with this person, even though there is nothing that binds you except for that desire to be loved! sure. we all want to be loved. even the self proclaimed bachelorc who "Loves" on a regular basis, deep down, wants to be linked to that other being that inspires, positively provokes, and invokes. we are creatures of Love, not just animals driven by Instinct.

and if we are so unfortunate as to pass right by it when it's staring us in the face, may it be that we are destined to keep searching. and if IT happens, you will know. because there is no denying what IT is. it's like when people are asked "how do you know he/she is the one?" and the response is "i just know". people want a more in depth explanation to answer this question, filled with flowery scenarios that mimic our ideals of romance. for me, "to just know" is a good enough answer. the Knowing is so powerful, i think it's hard to put words on it.

i don't know exactly what i want, but i have a good idea. i can see these scenarios as clear as the stars are bright. i have no words to describe what it is like to have this feeling. i just know it exists. to be in a union where i'm heard before words even come out. or if words do surface, i am given the honor of being listened to, and hopefully, then heard. and many will think of me as a hopeless romantic, a dreamer, too sensitive, too neurotic, too this or too that. and so it is. shame me for acknowledging this gift that lies within us all, that i adamantly believe in that so many ignore, or are so disconnected from that their search will never end. there is a reason why so many are searching. and why so many reside in discontent.

it is possible that my ability to be comfortably content hibernating, just myself, alone, is what has been the deciding factor into my future, never having that link. those who can't survive alone, who must be around people, are the ones who partner up. further, those who have high tolerances for pain are more prone to injury...those who can easily laugh at themselves tend to find themselves in embarrassing situations...those who are strong-willed face more challenges, and so on. this is not to say that i WANT to be in singularity for ever. in fact, i desire the opposite. i am in love with human passion. to save oneself from unnecessary pain and suffering is to recognize what is real and earnest, and to differentiate from what is merely a spark.

i am at fault. i have fallen to the seduction of sparks. that little light that promises an eternal flame, if nothing more than a glow. a promise that i created for myself. it was no one's fault but my own. live on that glow, and when it's gone, if it goes, then ride on, knowing that it ended for a reason. as the seasons change, so do we. i am not too hasty to say that nothing is forever. some things are, some are not. the key is to listen to your inner self...MY inner self...and that knowing that opens doors will come. the Universe shouldn't have to shout to be heard. if i gave her the honor of listenig, as the honor i'd like to receive, then all this muddled noise of what-is and what-isn't, would fuzzle out.

to know who we ARE is to know what we want.


with love,
chloe peppercorn


*UPDATE*
8.15.2010
oh i have learned so much more since this post, as i knew i would. i was tempted to erase this whole thing since it no longer rings entirely true, but then i realized that portions of it are still true and that this only denotes that i have evolved. it was obvious to me then the things that i whole heartedly believed in and the things i was a little sketchy about...those are the things that have changed into something that is true.  but i was happy in thinking that i pulled off my explanation satisfactorily, so i continued with the b.s.
...there will be more on this at a later date...